Today, I followed the butterflies.
And oh, how beautiful it feels.
This morning, I interviewed for a position I've been considering for some time. I prepared, I prayed, I showed up, and I gave them the very best of me.
And now?
I'm sitting here smiling.
Not because I know the outcome. I don't.
I'm smiling because I know how I felt.
I was calm. I was confident. I was surrounded by love. I was prepared, but I hadn't obsessed over preparing.
The night before, I watched a good show. I went to bed at a reasonable hour. I woke up early enough to enjoy getting ready. I did my hair, put on something lovely, said my prayers, and went about my morning.
I didn't need to exhaust myself to feel deserving of an opportunity.
That's growth.
And there's something particularly beautiful about the timing.
Two years ago to the day, I was interviewing for the position that brought me to where I am now.
Here I am again.
Different opportunity. Different chapter. Same excitement.
But a different woman.
When I left the interview, I immediately wanted to share my joy. I called my dad. I called my sister. I texted my husband. I wanted to interrupt the days of the people I love just long enough for them to be happy with me.
You know that feeling?
When something is so wonderful that keeping it to yourself almost feels impossible?
That's where I am.
And now I get to write about it.
I imagine there's a journal somewhere in my home holding the excitement of that interview two years ago. Perhaps I'll find it one day and read about a woman who was just as hopeful as I am today.
I hope she's proud of us.
Because somewhere between then and now, I've learned something rather wonderful.
I don't have to know exactly where I'm going to recognize when I'm moving in the right direction.
Sometimes, the only way to know is to take a step.
For the longest time, I've thought about decisions as things I needed to figure out before making them. I'd consider the possibilities, imagine the outcomes, and try to determine which direction was right.
But some things simply cannot be understood from a distance.
You have to move toward them.
And then you pay attention.
Does something light up inside you?
Do you feel curious? Excited? Peaceful? Perhaps even a little nervous, but eager to keep going?
Or do you find yourself shrinking, resisting, trying to convince yourself that you should want something you don't?
Neither feeling needs to be a final verdict. Sometimes nerves are simply nerves, and sometimes excitement fades.
But they're worth listening to.
I've experienced both.
I've taken steps toward things that looked wonderful from a distance, only to discover they weren't quite right for me.
And I've taken steps toward things I wasn't entirely certain about, only to find myself glowing.
My marriage. My writing. My career. Even the decision to change my hair color.
Oh, my hair!
She's practically glowing these days, and I've been enjoying every bit of it. Even more delightful has been watching other people enjoy her with me.
There's something special about the way joy travels.
And perhaps that's why I'm writing today.
Not to announce an accomplishment or celebrate an outcome that hasn't arrived.
Just to share a feeling.
I walked into a room today with people who know things I don't yet know. People whose expertise I admire and whose knowledge I'd be delighted to learn from.
There were questions I couldn't answer from experience. And instead of pretending otherwise, I was honest. They gave me room to think, to imagine, to answer from what I did know.
I left feeling encouraged.
Not simply because the interview went well, but because I could see myself growing there.
I could feel it.
And whether or not this particular opportunity becomes mine, I'm grateful I took the step.
Because now I know something I didn't know before.
I want to keep moving in this direction.
My sister-in-law has a saying I adore.
Follow the butterflies.
Those little, light, twinkling feelings. The ones that flutter through you when something feels wonderfully alive.
Follow them.
Not blindly. Not without discernment. But with curiosity, courage, and enough trust in yourself to pay attention.
And when the butterflies aren't there?
It's okay to reconsider. To step back. To try another direction.
There's no shame in discovering that something isn't for you.
I've spent a beautiful season of my life learning when to say no.
Now I'm discovering the joy of saying yes.
Yes to curiosity.
Yes to possibilities.
Yes to the things that make my eyes sparkle.
Yes to being a beginner again.
Yes to the life that continues to unfold before me.
Today, I'm grateful for the opportunity, for the people who encouraged me, for the peace I carried into that room, and for the woman who walked out of it.
I don't know what's coming next.
But I know how I feel right now.
And right now, there are butterflies everywhere.
With love,🦋
